Sorry For Missing You

So sorry my loves for missing my blog these past few months. Things have just been crazy in life and after such dramatic events, I took a little time to get my head screwed back on a little before putting it out to the world. While my head has been turned back on, its not tightly wound but I am ready to share my deepest thoughts of over coming loss with the world. Stay tuned for deep and insightful as well as some light hearted and fun posts coming up. xoxo, Jane

Celebration of my Papa

For those who missed a wonderful celebration of life for my grandfather this past Sunday, I wanted to share my speech with the blog-o-sphere. I was just one of many who shared beautiful stories and memories.  I can not wait for the video to watch back since this day was a little bit of a blur. Thank you again to all those who came out, sent beautiful messages, and have been a shoulder to cry or lean on these past few months.

“As a young child, I idealize Papa for many reasons.  To me, he was wise beyond my years and could teach me about so many wonderful things. To me he was in a simple word…Perfect.

When I was young child, Papa use to take me into the garden and teach me about the plants and flowers. All I really wanted to do was play with the bugs or swim in the pool. He continued to try.

In the evenings, he would curl up in his chair in the living room and read for hours with me. It didn’t matter that he was reading Cat in the Hat or Little Red Riding Hood because in his mind, I was reading. To me, I just got to sit in the big chair that was always reserved for him.

As I got older, into those “rough teenage” years, he gave me books from the library. I in-turn gave them back to the library.  He tried to give me advise on school, I pretended to listen. The only thing that really caught my attention during this time was of course, what every teenager wants…money. We bonded over the stock market. I learned how to read stocks, bonds, and most of all money markets from the newspaper cause that’s how they did it back then. I followed closely how much my $100 was turning into. I don’t know if he will admit it but I thank Reaganomics for the boom of my money market fund to send me to college. Papa being a democratic would probably more than likely tell me it was just great investing on his part. Without his wise decision to bond with me over the stock market early on, I probably would have done what every other student of my generation did and had to take out loans for college. I feel I got lucky because he invested in my education not just by teaching about the stock market but also by being able to help provide for my future.

As I became an adult I found we continued to talk about finances and he stressed the importance of investing up until a few days before he passed. One of our last conversations was of him reminding me not to forget to max out my IRA for this year because social security more than likely will not be around to collect when I’m of age.


Living 4 hours away, sometimes you can feel left out when you phone home and find out everyone went to the local BBQ place spur of the moment but I always knew he cared. I would randomly get snail mail of an article from the newspaper he read which related to me whether it be my migraines or the housing market. There would always be a little post it note included which read, “Tam, thought this would interest you, Love Papa”.

As I have known grown, I have learned perfection comes in many forms.  Papa is perfect.  He was my idea of perfection of what a grandfather was.  He was persistent, strong and intelligent. Ambitious, adventurous, and supportive.  Loving, respectful and giving.  All of these things make up a perfect grandfather, father, husband, man.

Papa has set the foundation. Many paths have been paved for me to explore. Each one is engraved with his teachings along the way. As I continue to go on my journeys in life and explore the world and all it has to offer, his memory will shine bright and his inspiration for charity to others will flourish from within. ”


The Right To Die

As I read the entertainment news tonight to help try and clear my mind to sleep after a long and restless day, I stumble upon the article about Brittany Maynard.  I have been reading her stories along her journey for the last 6 months or so.  She is the brave woman who took her life (and death) into her own hands.  Terminally ill and wanting to die with dignity instead of the horrific way many cancers can take you out, she made the choice to end her own life with her loved ones surrounded by her.  At only 29 years old, she is so young yet has made such a brave decision.

Having to watch my grandfather, who is 90 years old battle cancer, he expressed at the beginning of his diagnoses that he wanted the same for himself.  He has traveled the world, fought in war, educated  our future generations, and lived a life he feels accomplishes himself fully.  Unfortunately CA does not have the Death with Dignity law so this is not an option for him.  Although I know I want every last second I can with him, I also know that I would have given him this option in a second to not see him in pain.

Which reminds me every day to value the seconds you have with everyone you have in your life.  Make the moments count.  If for a moment, they pass through your life, they will leave a footprint.

Adventures of Gwen & Jane

A new series of a newly divorced woman and her sheltie:

Today, Gwen, my 5 year old pure bread sheltie and I traveled the lone 4 hours to Los Angeles to visit family. While I take this trip many of times, Gwen has only done this trip once or twice and always with the ex in tow so this new adventure of the two of us was blissful.  All strapped in the front seat, we started with a selfie.

While traveling along bobbing along and tail wagging to NKOTB and various other pop and country hits, I realized this was just the place I wanted to be at just this exact moment.  All the singing and bobbing (and road bumps since CA never finishes construction) made Gwen have to tinkle, so we stopped in Baker at Del Taco.  We stretched our legs, she did her business, and we even got a drink and fries (our favorite).  Now back on the road we go.  Gwen passed out quiet fast on a full tummy.

There is something to be said about the wide open road that makes it a perfect place to think about what the future holds. On this said trip, Gwen and I decided to make some short term plans for the next 3 months. We already know we will be making many more of these road trips to Los Angeles during this time period but added in the following:

  • 1 Mile Walks A Minimum of 4 Times Per Week (Get Fit Bit for Jane)
  • Organize Closet(s)
  • Enjoy an adventure with Papa (even if its only to the backyard)
  • Spend every minute possible with everyone I love. Time is precious.
Overall, this 4 hours I got to spend in the car with Gwen was entertaining. I am sure she enjoyed the many ear rubs and even the occasional mom arm coming across due to LA drivers breaking suddenly.
Until next time…


There are times in life where we find ourselves thrown into change. This change may be from something wanted or something unwanted, either way, its not always that easy to deal with. At this moment, I find myself at a cross roads. While my world has been turn upside down professionally because of a choice I made, that path is well on its way to greatness while my personal life is being turned upside down because of a choice I did not make but instead am having to respond to.

In times like these I am blessed to have a wonderful support system. A mother who I can call upon at the drop of a hat with sound advise and encouragement. A group of sisters who may or may not know what is going on but always support me with phone calls, text messages, lunch dates, and of course my favorite sushi dates.

While I know it takes time to figure out my next steps and to build this new path to greatness just like I did professionally, it still hurts along the way. It still angers me this has happened. It worries me of what may come.

As I now prepare for the moving on part, we’ll see what happens down the road…stay tuned.

The Circle of Life…

I figured I would be coming home to a blog post describing in detail how Donnie Wahlberg and all the New Kids on the Block members knocked my socks off on the cruise this year but that will have to wait just a little bit….stay tuned.

Instead I unfortunately came home to some unexpected news. The news that my grandfather had passed away.  Yes if you do the math, I’m 37, my father is 62, therefore, my grandfather was getting up there in age and health, it was not something I had thought about lately. Which begs the question, what else am I forgetting to think about as life is too short to forget.  Therefore this blog post is dedicated to all those things I feel I need to remember not only to work on more day to day but also to thank my grandfather for helping to bring my distant family back together again even for just a brief passing to celebrate his wonderful life and love he gave us throughout the years.

Here are a few Thank You’s to start it off:

To my mother, who calls me day after day to check on me, chit chat, and some times even give me some jewish guilt when I need it.  You are my rock when I need it most.  You are the friend I call when I need advise. I am glad to have the relationship we do. I love that you let your light shine so bright to lead a path for me to follow.

To my father, no amount of time or distance between us makes me love you any less. I know I will always be daddy little girl on the inside.  As I have become my own adult, you have allowed me the space and freedom to wander.  I wish our paths were closer to each other as adults as they were when I was a child. No matter the distance in miles or days, remember I will always be your daughter.  Grandpa’s passing has reminded me that even though our daily lives are in different directions, we must make time for those who are farther away as they are the ones closest to our hearts.

To all my wonderful cousins – No matter how far you are both in distance and age, you are close in my heart.  To a special shout out to my cousin Cindy, who constantly picks up the phone at random times again and again to reach out me while I continue to forget to to the same.  You are always on my mind and in my heart.

To my AOII sisters – Thank you all for stepping in and picking up when I needed help the last few days, checking on me at just the right times, and even those who had no clue what was going on continuing to make me laugh as you always do because that was just what I needed.  Sisterhood really is about forever.  #ALAM

Leslie, Paty, Sylvia – Thank you for the best vacation a girl could ask for.  4 days of paradise with 3 amazing girls and all 3 of you continued to check up on me separately for the next few days.  I know Leslie and I gained 2 great new friends on this year’s boat and we can’t wait to see you both again.  BTW, how is YourNuts? LOL!

And finally, to my husband James – Without him, my life would be incomplete.  He is my heart, soul, body and mind.  He is my best friend (although I believe Gwen is his best friend). Although he did not make the trip to Los Angeles with me for the funeral, he is holding down the house and taking care of the the animals and work.  I was only home for a total of 45 hours and he fed me every meal, helped me repack my bag, shuffle the mail around, download my brain, research, and anything and everything I asked of him. I truly believe his heart is crying from my heart crying the past few days.  My life – and all the great it has in it – would not be possible without having James a part of it.  #143

My Favorite Reality TV Shows

Hello my name is Jane and I am a reality TV junkie.  The first step in this blog is admitting you have a problem.  The second step is sharing that said problem with the blog-o-sphere so that said sphere can join in said problem too.

So don’t miss the following:

1.  Big Brother – This is my favorite summer reality show. They don’t wear you out with too much of it since its only on one season a year.  With such a wide variety of people to entertain you and a late night login on showtime as well, what more could you ask for.  If only I was daring enough to submit my own application.


2.  The Voice – I’ll be honest, after a few season of American Idol, I was done, but I am still going strong with the Voice.  I love that the coaches keep changing except for Adam and Blake who never have to leave in my opinion.  The talent is always top notch and for some reason my husband says I actually have a pretty good ear for singing cause I usually call out exactly what the coach is going to say is wrong.  (this coming from a person who can’t sing herself)

3.  The Bachelor / The Bachelorette – I think my favorite part of this whole thing is figuring out if I pick the right person from the beginning for the bachelor/bachelorette.  Its kind of like March Madness for me.  I do a whole bracket and everything.

While I do watch a lot of TV, these are my top 3 favorites.  Reality TV has a very short shelf live and therefore most do not last more than one season and if they do the sizzle fades. These 3 reality TV Shows seem to have lasted many of seasons.  While some are more interesting than others, with every new season, I can’t wait for it to start.

What do you enjoy watching??  What should I put on my DVR to record??

My Top 5 Favorite NKOTB Songs

As some of you may know, my love for New Kids On The Block started way back in 1988.  As many marriages end in divorce, this marriage has continued on strong.  With only 14 days until I set sail on on the 2014 NKOTB Cruise, I leave you with my TOP 5 NKOTB Songs.  Every Blockhead has their personal favorites for some reason or another and these are mine. The favorites are not based on my love for Donnie…. Jordan…. Jon…. Joe…. Danny individually but the rhythmic love they make while I belt them out in the shower, my car, a concert hall, or even sitting at my desk working away day after day after day.

Each one has a different meaning and there is always one section that gets me every time.  I am determined that the author wrote the song just for me and that NKOTB is singing that section right to me.  Didn’t you know I was that special?!?!

My first Meet & Greet with my Five Favorite Boston Boys
Indy 2011

Sexify My Love – “I don’t care where we are, on the hood of my car, out in public makin love in the streets.  All alone back at home we can do anything you want, I’ll give you heaven while we mess up the sheets.”

Fighting Gravity – “Baby look up at the universe, some things attract to each other like the planets and stars. Even though I can’t read your mind, you know I think about it all the time so what’s keeping us apart.”

2 in the Morning – “Now its 9 o’clock and I thought we could talk but you ain’t given in, will this ever end, girl its almost 10. I don’t know if you’re mad at me but fuck Grey’s Anatamy cause we could drag this out all night.”

REMIX – “I like the new you, forget about the old school. I love the sexy thing you turned into, so gimme the v2, some of that love fuel, I like the beat that your body moves to.”

Step by Step – “Step 1: We can have lots of fun. Step 2: There’s so much we can do. Step 3: It’s just you and me. Step 4: I can give you more. Step 5: Don’t you know that the time has arrived.”

    What are your favorite NKOTB songs??  Comment below.

    Sisters are not born they are made

    During my lifetime, I have made friends who stay for a minute but leave their mark in my life and those who last life times through thick and thin. As an only child who grew up with many children in the hold hold I was use to having people around and it was always something I loved. As I got older, I loved having having some alone time as well but still craved those special moments that only “sisters” could provide.

    Alpha Omicron Pi has provided me with millions of sisters around the world with a special bond no matter if I know their name or not. All I need to know is that they believe in the faith our four founders entrusted to us back in 1897 to continue on for generations. I have found those sisters here in Las Vegas to be my second family. They are there for love and support, movie dates, airport rides, hospital visits and child births, concerts, and my personal favorite sushi dates.

    Which brings me to talk about “sushi dates”.  This has become quite the tradition we have created here in Vegas for our Las Vegas sisters.  The sporadic pop up on Facebook from someone posting about a last minute sushi date and all those sisters that want to join in or just a double date between two has become quite a custom.

    Lately we have been working our way around the valley trying out different sushi restaurants.  While we are not reviewing them, we do have our own critique of each one with pros and cons.  I personal favorite thus far is Sushi Bomb on Cheyenne at the 215 Beltway.  Which is saying a lot since I was always willing to drive from the north west to Henderson for Sushiwa.

    There is just something about sushi that brings sisters together over a mean of raw fish.  I think its more about the bonding over various funny names of each of the sushi rolls and the good times we make while enjoying each others company.  Even last minute shopping efforts arise at the end of these events sometimes.

    Can I please have a Coke??

    You know when you first place your beverage order at a restaurant and ask for a Coke and the server says “Is Pepsi ok?”…  I am the one to respond, “No, ma’am, it isn’t. They are not the same thing”.  Does anyone else have that knee jerk reaction because they feel so strongly over the world famous Coca-Cola.

    Here is my outlook on the differences between Coke and Pepsi.


    Courtesy of Coca-Cola

    Fountain Coke is always the best.  The mixture of the syrup and carbonation brings the “classic Coke” feel home for me.

    Canned Coke is the next best thing but still not the favorite. The mixture of the metal from the can over time can turn the taste of the sugar from the soda.
    Bottle Coke, just not worth it.  Order an Ice Tea instead. (unless you are in Mexico then stick with Coke in a bottle and save the bottle as a souvenir)

        Coutesy of Pepsi Inc.


        Fountain Pepsi is not as good as fountain coke. It has a extra sweet taste, something to do with the mixture.
        Canned Pepsi is just ok depending upon how cold it is. The colder the better because the sugar seems to settle in the can. The same issue as with canned Coke with the metal taste as well especially when its not as cold.
        Bottle pepsi, never in a million years. Order an Ice Tea instead. 

          As you can see, Coke is an overall winner in my book.  So whether you call it Coke, Soda, or Pop, remember you always wanna order a good old fashion Coca-Cola.

          (This blog post was not sponsored. I am just an avid Coca-Cola drinker.)